I came across this article by physician Daphne Miller and wanted to share.

Among the interesting tidbits:

Contrary to what is conveyed by the media, romance novels and our current medical texts, Basson’s research suggests that it is normal for some women not to experience desire at the outset of a romp. In other words, if you are someone who would choose Sudoku over lovemaking but actually enjoys sex once your partner gets you going, then you are not disordered. Accepting that, Basson has found, leads many women to report much higher satisfaction with their sex lives.

And this:

I am not sure if I am any closer to developing a tidy algorithm for boosting women’s sexual health. But I am more at peace with the idea that, like many aspects of our health, it is an intricate affair.

I agree: sex, sexuality, and sensuality are tricky and complicated. But that doesn’t mean we should ignore them.

Sometimes it’s worthwhile to be mindful of our own experience of sex, and to not beat ourselves up for not having sex like they do in the movies.

And sometimes… the promise of playing with a toy is just enough to make that romp sound like more fun. ;)

What do you think?

Sexologist Jenni Skylar offers an interesting–and easy–answer to the age-old question:

What to do when you and your partner aren’t both feeling sexy at the same time?

Check out her piece here.  And I’d love to hear: how do you negotiate the fluctuations of sexual desire with your partner?

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